My Immortal
by SaphireMMTPX
Summary: Rating may go up. A certain someone reflects on the love they never had. Warning this contains homosexual pairings.


A Song-fic entitled "My Immortal"  
  
Disclaimer: "My Immortal" is © Evanescence. Naruto and all characters © to the Creator and the company who owns them.  
  
Note: I dedicate this to my best friend.  
  
~*~  
  
My Immortal  
  
~*~  
  
I'm so tired of being here  
  
Suppressed by all my childish fears  
  
And if you have to leave  
  
I wish that you would just leave  
  
'Cause your presence still lingers here  
  
And it won't leave me alone  
  
~*~  
  
Why, why did this happen? No, correction, why did ~I~ let this happen. Happen to you. You were everything. Everything to me. Yet you were nothing to me. Absolutely nothing. In many ways I wished you would die. Leave me be and just go away. Away from me and then I'd be the strongest. I remember fighting you. In everything. Do you remember? We fought over who could run faster. Who could jump higher. Who could eat more. Even who could take more punishment. But now, now your gone. Forever. Forever because I was selfish. I've always been selfish. Even when we weren't together. But your still here in spirit, haunting my every moment of action. As if your mocking me for ever being by your side. For being weaker then you, even in a time where weakness is allowed.   
  
~*~  
  
These wounds won't seem to heal  
  
This pain is just too real  
  
There's just too much that time cannot erase  
  
~*~  
  
If I could go back, I'd change everything that I had done. Everything to switch our places. You were the one who deserved to live, not I. You were so much more then me. Brighter then the sun's rays. Yet as mysterious as the dark side of the moon. The scars still linger, they wont go away. I can't even bring myself to blame you. I wonder though. Why... Why did you sacrifice your life for mine? You knew if one of us were to die, I always told you it should be me. But no. You broke our pact. our promise. You do remember that promise we made that day? That no matter what, you'd live on forever, and leave me behind in a dire situation. You broke that promise. And now. Now... I'm all alone. My wounds outside have healed, but the ones inside wont ever leave me. You've left me an emotional wreck. And I want you back. I want to change everything, and I can't and you know that.   
  
~*~  
  
When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears  
  
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears  
  
I held your hand through all of these years  
  
But you still have  
  
All of me  
  
~*~  
  
Remember those nights when there was just the two of us? When it was only me and you. You and I. We'd tell each other everything. Be the best of friends. But by day we were rivals. We were close. Thick as thieves. When you cried I let you cry in my arms. You'd be near suicide, but because of me, you lived. Lived for me, and me only. I saw it in your eyes. When you screamed, I came running to soothe the nightmares away. It's funny how I think of you when your gone. Have been gone for so very long. It wasn't until you left that I realized how much I'd miss a person as much as I'd miss you. And I do. So very much. I realize that when you left I died inside, because you took my heart with you when you left. I fell in love when we first met, but I never told you a word, because I was too afraid.   
  
~*~  
  
You used to captivate me  
  
By your resonating life  
  
Now I'm bound by the life you left behind  
  
Your face it haunts  
  
My once pleasant dreams  
  
Your voice it chased away  
  
All the sanity in me  
  
~*~  
  
You always caught my eye. In anything you did. And you never knew. You were so care free, and you did anything you pleased. Nothing kept you from your dreams, where as I always felt I never could get there. I was jealous that you could see life as a game, an easy game you were winning. Winning until I made a final decision that made you loose. Loose everything. Your hopes, dreams. Your life. All because of me. Now at night, I lay awake, thinking of you. I don't eat right. Every face I look at isn't what I should see. I see your face. All the expressions you can no longer make. When I do sleep, I relive that horrible incident where you gave you life for me. Or, I have dreams I wish would have happened, but never will. Dreams where I feel almost full. Dreams where I'd wake up feeling like your still here, and we've just have a passionate night together. But when I wake, I realized the dream was only that. A dream. Nothing more. I even talk to myself as if you were here. It's funny, because me, the only person no one expected to care about your death, cared the most. People think I'm insane. Am I dear friend? If I am, I only hope God will take me away to where you are.  
  
~*~  
  
These wounds won't seem to heal  
  
This pain is just too real  
  
There's just too much that time cannot erase  
  
~*~  
  
I feel sicker, sicker then I've ever been. And I'm sorry my lovely. But I cannot go on. Remember the bridge we always met at? The one where sensei was always late? I'm standing here, looking out at the ocean just beyond the great fields that give us food. Between rows of mountains that protected our village. I always teased you that your eyes looked just like the ocean. The ocean is mysterious, just like you. holding many secrets. Secrets only a sunken vessel could find. At the bottom of the deep waters of cerulean. In the midst of chaos, there is peace. in the midst of peace there is chaos. Your ever changing moods. The emotion of you I can see in the ocean. but it's not enough. I need you. I'm so close to the edge. I know I cannot change what has happened, but...if I try. I can get to you some how.   
  
~*~  
  
When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears  
  
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears  
  
I held your hand through all of these years  
  
But you still have  
  
All of me  
  
~*~  
  
I remember how hard you fought to protect me, when I could have been left behind. But in a way, you did that. You left me behind. With a horrible world that's meaningless to me. I don't care about anything but you...  
  
~*~  
  
I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone  
  
But though you're still with me  
  
I've been alone all along  
  
~*~  
  
I know your gone. And that you want me to live on, but it's too much to bear. I am going to end it, just so I can try and use all the power I possess to be with you. To get to you in heaven. If only to get to the gates of heaven and shout my love to you. As long as you know. When I tell you... I can fall back to hell where I belong. All I want is to see you one last time and tell you everything. The truth. No lies. just complete truth. My devotion, my love. My everything. I falling forwards towards the rocky shallow creek the bridge is over. I can feel the slight wind pass through my hair. My tears are freezing and flying upwards as I fall down into darkness. To my death. My end. No. My new beginning. A beginning I hope that will lead me to you some how.  
  
~*~  
  
When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears  
  
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears  
  
I held your hand through all of these years  
  
But you still have  
  
All of me  
  
~*~  
  
~Owari~  
  
~*~  
  
Well? What do you think? Can you guess who is in the 1st person point of view? if you can, leave a valid email address for a bonus. I may continue this. I may not. This is my favorite Evanescence Song. 


End file.
